"WTFaaS — What The Fuck as a Service
WTFaaS.dev
A small HTTP API for small emergencies

WTFaaS*

What The Fuck as a Service.
Tiny answers for life's and software's tiny WTF moments.

Try the APIView on GitHub
one request, one answer
$ curl https://wtfaas.dev/blame/outage

{ \"culprit\": \"DNS\",
  \"message\": \"DNS remains a person of interest.\" }
Live API playground

Ask it something.

It is a real request. Choose a module, give it a seed if repeatability matters, then copy what worked.

GET · 200 OK
/wtf/http/502
{
  \"module\": \"wtf\",
  \"code\": 502,
  \"name\": \"Bad Gateway\",
  \"wtf\": \"The server asked another server for help.\"
}
The directory

Nine small utilities.

They do specific things. That is the whole appeal.

WTFExplain an error, acronym, or confusing thing./wtf/http/502→ExcuseGet a plausible excuse without inventing a tragedy./excuse/deploy→DecidePick something so you do not have to./decide?choices=ship,wait,rollback→StatusSay what is happening, compactly./status/investigating→AckConfirm receipt without writing “noted” again./ack/received→BlameName a likely culprit, then suggest a check./blame/outage→ETATranslate an estimate into reality-ish./eta/software?estimate=2d→ReasonExplain why, responsibly./reason/delay→PlaceholderGenerate useful, clearly fictional content./placeholder/ecommerce/product→
Things you can ask it

A few practical calls.

curl /wtf/http/502
curl /excuse/deploy
curl /ack/received
curl /eta/software?estimate=2d
Why this exists

Most apps eventually need a sentence.

A status message. An acknowledgment. A placeholder. A reason. A tiny explanation.

WTFaaS is a pile of those tiny things, wrapped in a clean HTTP API.

  1. No AI required

    Curated corpora and small deterministic algorithms. Fast, cheap, and unsurprising.

  2. Edge-hosted

    It runs on Cloudflare Workers. Most requests should mostly be network latency.

  3. Deterministic when needed

    Add ?seed=demo for tests, screenshots, fixtures, and repeatable bot behavior.

Developer details

Boring protocol. Useful payloads.

# routes
GET /wtf/http/:code GET /excuse/:category
GET /decide?choices=a,b,c GET /status/:category
GET /ack/:category GET /blame/:category
GET /eta/:category?estimate=2d
GET /reason/:category GET /placeholder/:category

# formats
Accept: application/json Accept: text/plain Accept: text/html

# reproducibility
?seed=demo
"